- If a young person in your family tells you they would like to be known as a different name or pronouns, this means that they trust you.
- Parents and family members might find it difficult to adjust to a young person using a different name, especially when that name has a significant meaning, however remember that your child is more than just their name and are still the same person on the inside.
- A name change or pronoun change is nothing personal against you as parents/family and is more about the young person exploring their identity and trying to feel more comfortable in themselves.
- Thank the young person for telling you.
- Sometimes young people will explore and experiments with different names and pronouns and that is okay.
- Usually a young person will be happy to have a “chosen name” without legally changing it.
- Understandably, family members might be concerned that their young person is going through a phase. We find that if this is the case, sometimes a young person needs to experience the phase to help them to figure out their identity. A phase is not necessarily a bad thing and will often pass quicker and with less resistance if the young person is allowed to explore it.
- It’s okay to make mistakes, you’ve known your family member as a certain name and pronouns for a long time. If you make a mistake acknowledge it, apologise and move on.
- If your child is wanting to change their name legally, a deed poll would need to be completed. This is something that we can offer support with.
- If your child is using a chosen name at school or college, they have the right to change their name on the system to a chosen name, however their exams and any legal documents would be issued in their birth name until a deed poll has been completed.
- Gender expression and gender identity are different things, and wearing certain clothes or dressing a certain way doesn’t change your child’s gender identity.
We understand that this can feel like quite a big change for parents, carers and family, so if you need any additional support or information The Brunswick Centre are always here.